Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Here's two people with scoliosis attempting to have sex - ??

   The Olympics are only around to make white people feel good at sports

   People who cheat on their taxes disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 23 dependents in.

   If racism never existed, what do you get?.......Smarter people for one.

   Copy this into your status and see what people rate you! 1=Crazy. 2=I'd marry you. 3=Talkative. 4=Sarcastic. 5=Bangable. 6=Clubhead. 7=Moody. 8=Dumb. 9=Spoilt. 10=Mouthy. 11=Random. 12=Hot. 13=Funny. 14=Fit. 15=Amazing. 16= Tough. 17=Cute. 18=GF/BF Type

   ou all have nothing to worry about, Zombies only eat people that have brains.....

   I really hate when people constantly need reassurance. You know what I mean?

   Uh, rah rah baseball people. Football season's begun. More You can stop now. Thanks.

   Most people don't realize the phrase "I could eat a horse" came from Dolph Lundgren after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

   I wish my typing skills were as good as the people in the movies.

   Life is like a picnic: there are ants, hornets, bad potato salad, locked public bathrooms when your kid can't hold it, people, spotty cell recep......

   There are people who've been through hell and are trying to entertain you ungrateful urinary tract infections for free. Be kind.

   I think we should follow new people.

   Shout out to all my peeps and be glad I am not drinking or I would be drunk calling you right now @2:13AM. . .. . .

   People in love use phrases like “takes my breath away” and “swept me off my feet”. I think they’re confusing love with attempted murder.

   I only want to be rich so I can be more carefree about throwing drinks in people's faces.

   I never get nervous or embarrassed. That's just some sh*t that sober people who leave the house have to worry about.

   Things have changed so much like 4000 years ago if you killed a lion and could fix people's teeth you would have been the king of everything

   Pro-tip: sadness is for people who are awake or sober.

   I will never understand how people can support someone like Craig Allen Peyer.