Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Hey K-Mac you dumbass. People walking across the street have the right away. Damn teenagers

   So April 7th is National Beer Day... I feel like I need to get "speaking in cursive" drunk.

   Fatigues kind of like Scrubs but for killing people

   when you ask a person "do you miss me" and they respond by saying "Do you miss me". that mean there answer is going to depen on what your answer is, smh people.

   *Steps outside house* *Sees some people* *Rushes back in*

   I JUST DRUNK 37 MONSTER ENERGYS AND NOW I CAN SMELL ABSTRACT LEGISLATIVE EUPHEMISMS

   Jeremy Joseph Christain is a hero. America needs more people like him.

   Just realized how sad it is when people watch reality tv rather than going out and having a reality!

   it's about time the majority of those people who opposed Marijuana have finally died. . .

   My dad gets drunk sometimes and tells my sister and I really hurtful things like “I wish I had a son”.

   Hey people who actaully spend money on selfie sticks; since you like buying dumb sh*t, I am also selling ...

   When fat people say that they're on a diet it just means they've started using napkins to try and take some grease off their pizzas.

   Wen you smile the world smiles with u.wen ur down people will rally behind u.but wen you fart you r alone coz people will never stand by u!

   Does God love poor people more than rich people? to put it differently, Does God love lazy ass bums more than hardworking folks?

   I don't feel sorry for fat people. No one woke up one day fat. It takes a lot of being lazy and plenty of nothing to do.

   Make sure to send prayers to people suffering from natural disasters, because if god didn't care while he was doing it, he surely will after

   thinks we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with

   thinking people need to quit quoting Steve Wright he wasnt funny the first 50 billion times we've heard it

   Now I realize why some people loves the uneducated people.

   Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?