Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   If only dumb people were smart enough to know how dumb smart people were they wouldn't feel so stupid.

   In bed, when a girl says, "I'm Old Fashioned," she means, "I'm from a time when people didn't want to have sex with you."

   Why do people adopt insults that are directed at other people and take them personal, make them their own?

   Some people act like they love me and I act like I love them too.

   I used to think that the 2 separate things that irritated me most in life were: 1) Stupid People and 2) Traffic. That was until I witnessed stupid people driving in traffic, then it's HYSTERIA.

   I wish my farts would make people disintegrate like in "The Darkest Hour" movie trailer.

   It's a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!

   There are some people I would just like to high-five. In the face. With a tack.

   SO! My Dr tells me I have to take medication. Why? To stop you from slapping people who should be on medication. Hmmmm!

   There is a special place in Hell for people that pass memes off as their own

   When you're ugly and you hear attractive people call themselves ugly and your self esteem goes down by 14564%

   I bet a lot of people in Congress are hoping for a Kanye appearance today.....

   I really worry about people who have Jesus as their pilot. I don't think they even had airplanes back then.

   People say that I'm stubborn but I insist that I'm not. They eventually give in to me.

   The snow term "Ass Deep To A Tall Indian"...has me profiling these people...

   So what's the dating website for drunk, blonde, recent college graduates who do not want to find a job called?

   Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

   Reasons people claim to be gay: 3% - are actually gay 97% - forgot to log out of facebook

   If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?

   bind people should hook up with burn victims, not only do looks not matter, they may be interesting reading too