Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Why didn't the gay cop from "The Village People" save the day in that Orlando club?

   Trump's smart, he doesn't pay taxes. Sniff. Russia, China and 400 pound people may be out to get us. Sniff.

   the only people who are against drugs are the ones who sucked at doing them!

   Some people around me are alive because I can't afford a hitman....!

   If I ever go missing I want my picture on a beer bottle rather than a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me.

   They should have travel agents for poor people who offer affordable weekend getaways to the homes of people who can afford to go on vacation

   "likes it when people call him ""kitten"" "

   hates it when people use the term "FOLKS". Are we on Green Acres?

   thinks that if ever there comes a time when air is going to be sold, I bet the first people to start that business would be the guys making potato crisps....well, they are already selling us bags of air with some crisps!

   The only people that should be in cages are strippers.

   the world is made of 2 types. Men and crazy people.

   To all the people claiming how much better the android is then the iPhone id like to see you ask your android "where da hoes at!?" and get a response like "there are 3 amount of strip clubs near by.

   They say fat people need love too. No they need a DIET!

   why do some people say Math instead of Maths? ,, its Mathematics not Mathematic..

   I know that people want to go back to work because they're broke, but there's still a serious virus floating around. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that being broke is better than being dead.

   Yes it's unseaonally cold. But let's keep in mind those people in Niamey that are currently dealing with a 99 degree temperature.

   SpellCheck has saved MILLIONS of drunk morons, and has been the scapegoat for stupid people since it's invention.

   snapchat is creating it's own brand of human beings separate from the rest of us, people who think dog filters and squished faces are cool

   Rejection from a girl at the club only hurts if your desire to get laid is weaker than your commitment to get drunk.

   We're not old people we're recycled teenagers!!!!!