Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Society would improve leaps and bounds if people would just stop putting those stupid Transformers emblems on their cars.

   People who use sporks can't be trusted.

   HA HA HA! People believed it was all going to end today. I mean, really, an ancient calendar is actually going to predict the end of the wor.......

   optimistic people say "nobody is perfect" ......all my haters say "he's nobody"....even my haters think i'm perfect

   Why do people feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking “I'M GOING TO KILL.. Ah darn he's under a blanket”!!

   AhhhChooo!! If you are allergic to bulls**t, liars, head games, drama queens, two-faced fake people... Repost this and keep this sneeze going.

   How to annoy people: Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy".

   According to most of you people here, I guess the holocaust is considered freedom of speech?

   Things that give me anxiety: 1) Everything. 2) People without anxiety. 3) Trump supporters at his rallies.

   People that are against smoking pot are the ones that need it the most..

   I think it's Funny how people are hating on Romo when their team's QB is sitting on the couch watching him still play.

   Surely hope insurance companies start classifying "delusional people who think the President is doing a good job" as a pre-existing condition.

   U.S.A.- If you have oil, your people need freedom and peace.

   throwing skittles at random people and saying " taste the rainbow b*tch!"

   Does Trump really want people to kill themselves in order to improve the economy and to make his poll numbers rise? That's messed up!

   I represent The Pizza Is Too Damn Good party... People eatin pizza 8 hours a day and 40 hours a week, my main job is to provide pizza for breakfast,lunch and dinner. Listen some childs stomach just growled did ya hear it?Give em pizza! Pizza Too Damn Good

   The US president should have lead the country today in a moment of PRAYER; then out of respect for the 6 people who lost their lives and the 19 people wounded, the non-believers could have exercised their right to SILENCE.

   What's the deal with deaf people? Like, Hello?

   The story of People of Lut (or Lot) has been preserved for these exact times. To serve as reminder to us what the end result of People of Sodom & Gomorrah (pure destruction) for their deviant/foridden sexual practices. Our Maker has warned from such sins

   It sucks when you walk into a room, and you can't remember what you went in there for, so then you leave, then a few minutes later you remember that you're a fireman, and a bunch of people just died.