Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Clearly the lifeguard is to blame for letting that many people into the pool. Case closed.

   Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak...

   Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. Others drink Beer so the world circles around them.

   Gas is going up even higher and no way Obama will help. Democrats love high gas prices because they blame it on the republicans, and they think people driving less is better for going green.

   I feel like standing across the street facing a nursing home in a grim reaper costume and waving at all the old people I see...

   Kelly Clarkson's new album will be delayed for a few months. Apparently it has upset all three people who were lining up to buy it.

   Do people that sell chairs give out stool samples?

   Be careful! Fox News reported that 30,000 people have died trying to sign up for Obamacare!

   Why do so many Americans hate people from the middle east, yet build churches to worship someone from the middle east? How stupid is that.

   It's only October 17th and I'm already sick of seeing anything regarding black friday .. seriously people have you no respect?? its african-american friday, dammit!

   is thinking 9000 people are having sex right now, 2000 are kissing and you are reading my status. Hang in there mate !!

   People reckon I'm too patronising (that means I treat them as if they're stupid).

   I have nothing against exercise. I just wish people would care as much about exercising their minds as much as the do their bodies.

   Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green....

   Tattoos are not trashy, the people who wear them can be though...

   dear gays. It's not you, it's me. I hate most straight people too…

   I am drawn to people that seek the truth, but avoid those that profess to have found it. Take a hint preachers.

   I'm searching Facebook for people named Hontas, just because I think it would be cool... to poke a Hontas.

   1.4 million convicted felons in prisons will be getting the $1,400 check, probably even dead people... True story

   I don't like it when people put an X in X-mas..from now on I'm gonna abbreviate it Christ-X