Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.

   People that believe internet gossip are the same dumbasses that keep the Kardashians famous.

   "How fortunate for governments that the people they administer do not think" - Adolf Hitler

   If you live to be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people... Like you ate a pinecone every single d

   I hope my New Year's Resolution to only say nice things about people isn't misinterpreted as a vow of silence.

   We now live in a time where people choose their insurance providers based on who's TV commercial is funnier

   I hate when people don't watch where I'm going when I'm walking and texting.

   Hey, people who jog in place when you're at a red light. Calm down. We're already judging you. Don't give us more ammo

   Before you judge people, make sure you're better than them, or at least you're not one of them.

   suggests: The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.

   I wish you people would punctuate and capitalize your sentences correctly. It makes copying and pasting easier.

   To the people of the land of the free and home of the brave ...we salute you and mourn with you...

   My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !

   Why are so many people obese these days? Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

   Hitting the treadmill to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress.......

   Should we REALLY put labels on paint cans warning people that eating it could kill them? I mean, should we TRY to save anyone who would make a conscious decision to eat paint?

   I like mario. he's cool. he's all like " hello, I'm maaarrio, I'm a Italian plumber created by japanese people, who speaks English and looks like a Mexican."

   Scratching off a lotto ticket before you leave the store is a good way of letting people know that your life isn't going according to plan....

   6 of those Extreme Coupon people could fix the entire US Budget.

   I have no respect for today's gangs! They just drive by and shoot people. At least in the old days, like in ''West Side Story'', the gangs used to dance with eachother first!!