Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   If you watch the Titanic backwards..Its about a magical boat that saves people

   Trump tells GOP lawmakers they need to respect the wishes of the people that got them elected. I think he means the Kremlin.

   Getting drunk on a week night is kinda like bangin' a fat chick; no matter how much you enjoy it now, you'll regret it in the morning.

   can people who are paralysed from the waist down fart?

   Feel bad for blind people. I mean, seriously, how do you know when to stop wiping?

   I knew someone would have to do it but I didn't know it would be someone so famous! Amy Winehouse had to take her own life just so people on fbook would talk about something other than the weather! You all are to blame for this!!

   Dear, Sheep. Bear in mind that the medical health experts sounding the alarms concerning how we handle this epidemic, are the same people who can't figure out whether eggs are good or bad for you.

   I feel bad for people that don't drink, because when they get up in the morning that is as good as you are going to feel all day!!

   170.6 Adam and Eve: The first people to not read the Apple terms and conditions.

   It's sad to see that two close people don't recognize each other anymore. Not because they grew up but because they grew apart.

   Heyy I changed my car horn to gun shot sound...People move out the way much faster now ;-))

   Abercrombie clothes are NOT meant to be worn by fat people, Just sayin'

   You’d think people would be more understanding it’s my first day as a tattoo artist.

   I just want to see how many stupid people there are. If you think microwaves are spying on Trump, vote down. If not, vote up.

   Trump says there were good people on the white nationalist's side....Okay, that's it, I'm done. I can't live in a country where stupidity rules.....

   Judging people by their race and sex is wrong, I wish you privileged white males would get that!

   I don't understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?

   if you read the Bible backwards Jesus is crucified, develops a large following, and then a lot of horrible things happen to people. Oh wait that happened after the bible too...

   4: Mommy, where do babies come from?..... Me: Well, sweetie, when two people tolerate each other very much...

   Loneliness is very dangerous. It's addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don't want to deal with people while working at any gas station.