Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   People don't leave bad relationships, but they leave bad partners.

   In the absence of information, people make sh!t up. Worse, if they feel threatened, they make sh!t up that amplifies their worst fears.

   why do people say things regarding you, without mentioning you, and pretending it has nothing to do with you

   I'm not agoraphobically antisocial. I just refuse to leave my house and talk to stupid people.

   A huge part of success involves getting rid of people that drain your energy and surround yourself with positivity.

   For the longest time I thought a jetski was what people who say "brewski" for "beer" call an airplane.

   NOTICE: To the people who have flashing blue and red Christmas lights in their yard.....can you remove them, please? Every time I pass by, I think it is the cops and I have to remove my foot from the gas, slam on the brakes, put my seatbelt on, throw my p

   Euthanasia is OK, but most people can live without it.

   Bill O'Reilly has a good point. I mean, without slavery, some of those people could have ended working for a monster like Bill O'Reilly.

   If anybody knows any lonely old people preparing to eat Christmas dinner alone? Please let me know as I need to borrow some chairs!

   I don't understand why tan suits enrages people. Maybe, I'm too sane to understand it.

   I tried the Facebook Friend Finder and it showed me all the people who deleted me, I think its a tad bit faulty or should be renamed!

   If the world really was going to end in 2012, the bankers would find some way to "stall" it....they ain't going to let people get away with not paying their 25 year mortgages.

   What could be worse than being a "people of walmart?" Getting busted taking a picture of one. Damn flash!

   Some people live life in the fast lane. You're in oncoming traffic.

   If you're looking for the Poop emoticon on Whatsapp, go straight to the "people" tab.

   The only people who piss me off are the ones who convert oxygen into carbon dioxide.

   Don't understand why everyone is so excited about "breaking wind". Everytime I break wind people just run away!!

   X says Some people wish that Morgan Freeman narrated their lives. I on the other hand would choose Kevin Arnold from the wonder years

   Some people are jus born awesome.