Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Interesting Fact: People who say "Suck my genitals".....95% women and 5% men.

   If marriage counseling is seeing other people over drinks, then I will go to counseling.

   sometimes I think love is like bigfoot......other people claim they have seen it & experienced it but I don't think I ever will

   When you decide to not talk bad about people, it really shortens the conversation

   I don't mind when people make kitchen jokes about women, but when they make jokes about women driving... Well that's when I run you over.

   I was insane to think the people I knew was sane....

   Seeking other people's approval is disapproving yourself.

   Part Of me says I can't keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "don't listen to that guy... He's drunk."

   Reminder for this weekend..Avoid hangover.........stay drunk...

   People say "love' is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.

   Some people are as useful as a white crayon.

   Some people are like bees. They bring honey, but they also sting. 🐝

   Rich People's Problems: Not remembering the names of the maid's 9 children.

   Hmmmm .... A University of Pennsylvania/Stanford University study states that Only 9 -15% of people incarcerated in US prisons are Republican ..... Why do I have a feeling some folks are going to be a demand some sort of affirmative action for Prisons

   if you hitchhike make sure to use your thumb correctly or people might think you're just congratulating them on their excellent driving

   People think I'm a good guy but I used to have a Jar Jar Binks poster.

   happy vALONEtine's day to the single people

   Sometimes I get irritated when people ask me simple or even complex questions.. like you have a iPhone right there and you know the WiFi.. Google it! Ugghh I hate finals

   People are weird. Everyone knows door handles spread disease, but whenever I ask a business owner if I can clean his knob I get thrown out.

   If you don't know where you stand with people then walk away.