Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I wish more people would give me the silent treatment.!!

   Truly amazed by how much the people in the commercials care for us.

   I hate when people on YouTube say, "if your watching this in 2011". I'm always like oh no, I'm watching it 1500 BC on my IStone.

   All you damn people inviting me to Castleville get on Battlefield 3 so I can knife you!!

   You should never care what other people think of you. Unless you're a dude who wears sandals.

   The Lunesta commercials amuse me. It seems that enough people have taken a sleeping pill and then said "Well, I better go jump on that bulldozer and get some work done." That they feel it's necessary to tell people NOT to do it...

   Some people find themselves spending more time on their ex's FB page more then they spent time on their ex period.

   trump must be very frustrated that congress is full of people with principles that care about Americans. It makes it harder for him to improve America for the richest and whitest Americans at the expense of everyone else.

   Global Warming would not be a problem if people would stop producing so much hot air complaining about Global Warming.

   Some people's Twitter and Facebook updates are like a china shop filled with wrestlers battling over all its contents; you can find nothing worthwhile to read yet. Please learn something before updating and making fun of yourself.

   Have nothing against people from other countries. But one thing is for sure. they do not know how to drive in the U.S. no turn signal, no turn on red, ect...

   If the Supreme Court sides with marriage equality and tosses out the DOMA there are going to be a lot of butt-hurt people.

   The people of England paid a heavenly price for the wedding of Cap'n Crunch ,. and didnt even get a lousy t-shirt...

   Why are people always trying to get into shape?? Round is a shape!

   Fool people into thinking you actually go outside by updating your Facebook status via your mobile phone

   new drinking game: everytime Charlie Sheen says something in an interview, you take a shot....5 minutes into an hour interview and I was drunk. :/

   Its hot as hades outside, some people call it hell, I call it hades..ummmmhhhhhh

   it seems like alot of people get great comments when they change there relationship status to "Single" so I'm gonna be in a temporary relationship just to let you all know I'm still single?

   wonders... How do crazy people go through the forest?They take the psycho path.

   I love making people laugh. I just hate it when it happens when I get out of the shower and It's my wife. LOL!