Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   typos don't bother me, they're honest mistakes. What bothers me are illiterates; people who don't know how to speak or spell.

   n't cranky, I just have a violent reaction to stupid people.

   People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

   In Dumb People News: 3 Dudes tried to rob a Redbox last night for the Money inside of it..

   People ask why I get hot women. I do not have a large pen!$...it's small, but it can talk and is very complimentary.

   I don't sweat...Sweating is for people who do something.

   Why are the same people that complain about all the Wal Marts okay with a Starbucks on every block??

   I live for the nights I can't remember with the people I'll never forget

   Since when are chinese people tall and buff?? :O

   im so drunk I'm seeing red headlights in my rearview mirror

   If love were truly blind people wouldn't be so damn picky.

   People always write "Congrats" in their FB posts because most don't know how to spell "Kongrajulashins".

   Lego is offensive to people with bad knees.

   let the President Elect do his thing...The American people will rise up and tell him what they want!

   When you just want to lick a midget but there’s too many people around.

   When I was 10 years old, people that had over 50 seemed so old... wreckled... slow... I'm going to have 55 in a month.. it is not that bad! But people in their 90's look so old...

   I don't think it's about religion anymore. Some people are just sadists, hiding behind the masks of religion.

   I hate when people say "have a nice day." Like I'm gonna be in anguish later then think "Oh yeah, Truck Driver guy told me to have a nice day."

   Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.....and who said statistics don't have a beginning, middle, and end.

   Now that people are posting what Organ donors they are on FB, I am going to friend all the Liver Donors..- Good to keep drinking:)