Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I do more drinking before 9:00 am than most people do all day.

   We have a game show called Survivor in America....you can win 1 million dollars for doing something for 2 weeks that most people on this planet call "life"!! It simply amazes me how spoiled, ungrateful and lazy we are!!

   was really hoping the rapture was coming to take away all the people that believed this rapture was real.

   Some people have to realize that not everyone was made with a good singing voice...if they were, life would just be one big musical.

   some people just don't understand sarcasm.

   UPDATE: As Hurricane Irene prepares to batter the East Coast, federal disaster officials have warned that Internet outages could force people to interact with other people for the first time in years.remember an interaction is just like a series of fb upd

   Sad 60's Self Realization:Most of the people who used to call you a Space Cowboy, a Gangster of Love, and Maurice now call you a Sad Hippie Has-Been.

   Some people don't fall in love; they drown in it.

   To save money, instead of going out to clubs, I just get drunk at home and yell "What?!?!?!" into a mirror over and over.

   When I die people are going to be like "wait... I thought he already died like a decade ago?"

   Wait till the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald's find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want.

   Taking care of your drunk friends inadvertently prepares you to be a father or mother.

   At this point the only other thing Trump could possibly say to anger anymore people is if he said he hated doughnuts.

   All you have to do is copy and paste this status and FB will award 200 on people. FB is such a great mode of transporting lies to the naive.

   Don't get it. Heard the phrase "keep your friends clothes & keep your enemies clothes, sir". Now I have a bunch of naked people angry at me.

   You're like the warm beer of people.

   People that ask if you're there yet are the reason why vibrat0rs exist

   I just want to hang out with some people whose asses I don't have to wipe. Is that too much to ask.?

   People who eat fish tacos: You realize you can get tacos that don't have fish in them,,, right?

   No, the tear drop tattoo doesn't mean I killed someone. I just like people to know that I'm sad when I'm sober.