Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I like "glass half full" type of people. Unless they're working behind the bar.

   It'll be weird when names like Heather and Ashley are old people names.

   Netflix is like meth for people who hate doing things

   Kung Fu Panda teaches kids that fat people can do anything they set their mind to, as long as they are a panda.

   Would like to take all of the warning labels off everything toxic and weed out the stupid people

   Facebook: where all your stupid questions can be answered by stupider people.

   if you go through life with your head in the sand all people will see is an ass!

   Joke's on you skinny people, my iPad fits just fine in my back pocket.

   Justin Bieber is the crocs of the music industry. People claim they hate it but the company is doing really well so some of you must be lying!

   The main thing I've discovered about facebook is...there are lots of b0ring people out there.

   $ex is the most common event that draws people in to things. Be it sales, facebook posts, etc. I always felt that $ex is not the most important thing. And I've managed to instill this philosophy in all 18 of my kids.

   I was asked if I believed in Astrology! Of course my answer was no us Sagatarians are very skeptical people!!!

   My wife only drinks so she can tolerate me when I'm drunk.

   Wherever I go, people are waving at me. Maybe if I do a good job, they'll use all their fingers.

   If one person has an imaginary friend, they're crazy, if many people have the same imaginary friend, it's religion??

   Give fat people a break. They have a lot on their plate.

   who can name the 6 great kings who ave brought immense happiness in two people's lifes ?? Drin-King, Fuc-King, Lic-King, Suc-King, Span-King and Wan-king

   So only 9 people in supreme courts sit around and decide what's legal and what's not for the rest of over 500 million Americans? Yes I see how your democracy is very fair.

   Statistically in 2010, 43,869,800 people changed their relationship status to single yet I am still sitting home alone on Saturday night??

   Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?