Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   If people winked and "laughed out loud" in real life half as much as they did when they were texting the world would be a very creepy place ;) lol

   Here's to the people who hit bongs, not women. Spark bowls, not arguments. Burn bud, not bridges. Save this world...one puff at a time.

   People have got to stop saying "LIFE SUCKS"... because my husband is now saying he wished he had a LIFE!

   Do people who wear Tapout know that that's the name for what the loser does?

   I never understood why people take pictures of themselves flipping the bird. Was the camera mean to you?

   In school, the only thing group projects ever taught me was that I hate other people.

   People always mean 50% of what they say when they are joking. "You are 200% idiot!" Don't get angry, I was joking!

   I got sent home for inappropriate attire. Lady Gaga wore the SAME thing at the VMAs! Some people know nothing about fashion.

   Blind people should not skydive. It scares the crap out of their dogs.

   Old people tell the best stories.....

   If Facebook ever shut down, you'd see people aimlessly walking round streets, scribbling on walls, poking each other, searching for their friends, thumbs-upping and commenting at everything they see and damn tagging one another.

   McDonalds Golden Arches is kind of like Batman's Bat-Signal for fat people....

   In retaliation for the genocide of their people the Indians today magnificently beat the Cowboys in a game of football! All is even!

   Cell phones ruined pushing people into pools

   I'be gotten to the point where I can't tell the difference between homeless people and hipsters

   I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people would manage their stupidity

   The look on people's faces while waiting at a bus stop is the same look children make when they can't have any candy.

   It's hard to get people's sympathy when your life is in shambles, mainly because the word shambles sounds so darn adorable. Shambles!

   Where's everyone at? I need other people ideas.

   Don't ever blame yourself if people can't accept you for who you are.