Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Every Christmas Eve my family tries to break the record of number of people stuffed into one kitchen.

   Trying to understand some people,,, Is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end...

   TOO bad we dont still have Obama as president... I'm sure a certain religon wants an apology for not having alot more people on the Westminster bridge

   There are two types of people: Those who try to boil water in their toaster, and cowards.

   Do people who work in those office supply stores steal stuff from their homes to use at work?

   I don’t trust people who smile at 8AM on Mondays…

   This post will be seen by tens of people, and liked literally ones of times.

   Thank you Facbook. before you came along, I had to stare out the window to laugh at people.

   People with big chins are probably really good at folding towels and blankets.

   People are talking about the oil companies profits. People need to be talking about the fed government income from the gas taxation. Talk about being appalled and they don't do anything but collect money...

   I wonder if the lamestream media has anything better to do today than follow around the crazy lady on the bus or worry about pics of congressmen in their underwear? Focus people! There's real news happening all over the world!

   Thinking of getting a portable hand held air horn to help remind people not wearing a mask to keep away from me.

   So,,,,,,now that people are eating tide pods,,,,,does that mean they identify as a washing machine, now? I'm confused

   It's really awkward that all of the people who post the "how did you meet me" statuses are all people I haven't met.. then again, I don't go outside

   I love Kit-Kat...unless I'm with four or more people.

   I think the people who own funeral homes should have digital clocks outside, counting down.

   Why are the people who are always demanding respect the ones who least deserve it?

   I paid $12.50 for movie tickets. Forget that the people are noisy, the popcorn and drinks are overpriced, and the movie itself stinks....I wanna know why there was no cartoon.

   Life is more fun when you are on coffee or drunk.

   Its about time the government enacted a law that keeps dumb and stupid people away from playing a role in society.