Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I don't need anger management -I need people to stop pissing me the hell off!!

   When people say they can't do something because their hands are full I always hope their hands are full of twinkies.

   We may hate drunk people, but at the end of the day, they are the ONLY ones who speak the real TRUTH!

   Hip Hop in the 90s was more simple. You always knew you could find all the party people in the house.

   I did really well when I worked at the carnival. I guessed people's temperature within 5 degrees

   MAKE AMERICA DRUNK AGAIN - thats the only way we are going to get through this election.

   earth has people who have done great things like go to the moon and discover pizza then it has idiots who have spent money on selfie sticks.

   Some of you people are great.... Others should be towed a safe distance and blown up as precaution.

   You ever notice that the people with the most insecurities are the loudest?

   Now that's news! That poor rat was yanked out of his mailbox this morning and predicted that all the people watching in the cold were idiots.

   If the Apple/FBI conflict proves anything, it's that the NSA really doesn't have all of your personal information like people claim...

   Clearly if you have to blame yourself, you're not hanging out with enough people.

   you can have my FourLoko when you pry it from my cold, dead drunk hands...

   Wonders if there is a cure for "dumbassness" if so, I know a few people who need a dose.

   i'm not an alcoholic the world just feels better when i'm drunk

   wouldn't it be funny if TLC would combine people from Hoarders and people from I Have OCD for a new reality show???

   Ever notice how on those Life in Prison documentaries on the Discovery Channel that the prisoners they interview are a lot more respectful and polite than the people on the outside that you encounter every day?

   Most of troubles and hate games in the world is made by ugly insecure people.

   Some people are in a long distance relationship with common sense.

   People are what they do, not what they say.