Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   "X the number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of you action. :) "... People who post things like this are why I fear for our future.

   Try this... Whenever leaving fancy restaurant tell the people coming in "I recommend you try the donkey, snail or the squirrel".

   For Jesus' birthday, I bought other people a bunch of stuff.

   People who wish they had a nickel for every time such-and-such happened should raise their prices a little.

   Why would you stay friends with your ex? When you get fired from a job, you don't stick around and watch other people do your job.

   I'm not saying you're an ugly person, but if your picture is on the cigarettes boxes, people will stop smoking

   Considering the odds are about the same, I think it would be nice if we let the people literally "struck by lightning",, be the lottery winners...

   Some people don't have the ability to laugh at themselves... and that's where I come in!

   Facebook just got real. You can unsubscribe to status updates and turn people from "friends" to "acquaintances". It's a dirty game

   If people can now use pepper spray to get the last piece of junk at Walmart, then I'm going to start using it for unwanted meeting requests.

   glad to hear that the IRS is finally concerned that some people have been trying without success to dial the IRS Taxpayer Assistance Hot Line since 1984.

   I enjoy watching uptight people try to act laid back.

   planning a vacation to get away from people....see you guys in couple of hours, will facebook hourly to update you guys about my vacation

   There's people who can build machines to explore other planets and then there's people telling you where to eat chicken sandwiches. Just sayin

   It's so weird how some people have memorized the entire Bible yet managed to forget that pesky verse about not being all judgy.

   Stay warm people. It's "R. Kelly" cool out there…and by that I mean "in the teens."

   People kept telling me all day I looked hot!... Then I realized it was probably coz I was sweating like a pig in this frickin' heat...

   I think I had my zipper down when I slapped my girlfriend at Walmart. I could hear people murmuring,"OMG what a d$ck!"

   There are tons of open seats, so why does the one next to me always look so inviting to really weird people?

   Unfollow, Unfriend, & Delete are the Stop, Drop & Roll safety instructions when it comes to the internet's most annoying people.