Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I believe in love at first sight which is why I quit looking homeless people in the eyes. Just can't risk it.

   'It's not the crazy people I fear, but the large groups of normal ones! '' ~Shane Coleman

   In life, it seems the group of people who are easily offended and the group of people who are easily confused tend to be the same group.

   I hate people who kiss the boss's ass right after I compliment his new haircut.

   it appears as if Randy Travis has a major problem with alcohol... drunk, naked and threatened to kill the officers that arrested him last night for DUI... and a public intox. last Feb.? Wait, is he in the NBA or NFL???

   There's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, but it's not giving up, it's realizing that you don't need certain people and their crap.

   It makes me sad to think there are people in this world who have a Kardashian as their favorit celeb.

   McDonald’s should have an express drive thru lane just for people who need french fries.

   I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

   So many vain and self-aggrandizing narcissists on Facebook giving themselves compliments about how beautiful, slim and rich they are. Real beautiful people are humble and wait to be complimented by other people.

   Strange that the people who make duck face in photos are the same ones who always refuse to eat bread

   I assume people that unfollow/unfriend/delete/block me must have found Jesus.

   Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people. But you never forget them. And sometimes, it's those memories that give us the strength to go on.

   I hate it when people say " you need your beaut sleep" damn B**ch, you need to hibernate!

   Less than 2% of people polled believed former Penn State coach Jerry San-butt-sky's claims of innocence in an interview last night which makes him even less popular than male pole dancing among the American public!

   facebook sucks for people with attention deficit....oooh, a comment

   If people were meant to pop out of bed first thing in the morning, we'd all sleep in toasters.

   Swimming can be confusing… some people do it for fun.. I do it not to die.

   People who say, "In my humble opinion" are almost never humble.

   Don't call them hobos. Call them "people with earning disabilities."