Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   People who squirt Ketchup all over their fries instead of dipping them are not people you want in your life.

   throwing skittles at people and yelling "TASTE THE FLIPPIN RAINBOW''

   Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.

   I'm going to start telling people I don't drink. Because I don't think a few beers once a week really counts. I'm not always a Hypocrite....but when I am.....I prefer to contradict myself with Dos Equis. Stay thirsty my friends

   so rothlisberger is going back to super bowl....some advice for people of dallas...hide yo kids ..hide yo wife

   Part of me says I can't keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "Don't listen to her. She's drunk

   ■Remember, people only rain on your parade because they're jealous of your sun & tired of their shade

   If gay people are fruity, then straight people are veggies and bisexuals are tomatoes.

   The Boston Marathon explosion is a terrible tragedy, but what bugs me is all the stupid FB people sitting eating doritos now postinf stupid candle photos and thoughts and prayer crap, get off your butts and make it a safer world

   Pro death penalty - If you don't value other people's lives, why the hell should they value yours?

   Don't be upset if people preferred another one to you..... its hard to convince monkey that strawberries are sweeter than bananas..

   "Relationships - are for ugly people!" - Charlie Sheen

   Coke dealers. Always sticking their business in other people's noses.

   Lefties can argue all they want that they are better than people who use their right hand, but I know for a fact that the right leg is more important than the left. How many people use their left leg when they drive an automatic car?

   What's next TLC...a little people Polygamist family with 38 kids?

   You're not a true drama queen until people start making popcorn when they see you walking down the street.

   It’s a little difficult to worry about starving children in Africa when we still have people in America using flip phones.

   People, sharing some company's photo to "win" something is a scam. Just like nigerian lotteries, social security and obamacare...

   PLEASE put this on your status if you know someone who has been eaten by a dragon. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn't know, they can breathe fire. 93% of people won't copy & paste this because they have already been eaten by a dragon..

   Why is it that people think they are invisible in their cars while they are picking their noses?