Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   To all those who said I couldn't make jokes about blind people... watch me.

   With all that weight loss, 50 Cent looks like one of those crazy people from "I Am Legend"

   Why is it always the ugly people who have to post pics of themselves every other day? You might love the camera but it’s obvious the camera does not love you back. So put the camera down and stop scaring little children with your pics.

   Have you ever had one of those moments when you look up and realize that you're one of those people you see on the train talking to themselves?

   When people ask where I live I always say by the sword.

   my Facebook fans are waiting on a funny.... Come on people get with it.

   Alot of people look up to me... Mostly midgets and children, but its just nice knowing that...

   What hip hop music needs is more songs set in nightclubs. About nightclubs. Encouraging people to go to nightclubs.

   So let me get this straight, the same people who are responsible for 9/11 are also responsible for 20% of Killary's campaign contributions. Anyone see an issue with this?

   Back when I was in high school, we didn't have guns to shoot people. We used our fists!

   Every so often I'll listen to my mom talk non stop for like 5yrs at a time to remind myself why people wander into traffic without looking.

   Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think "look at all these poor people who don't know Netflix exists."

   "It sure is nice to not be out shopping." - sane people

   When I'm drunk you're hot, when I'm not, you're not.

   Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

   I wish people would just listen to my advice. I have invested many years f*cking shlt up so you don't have to.

   I don't think the country that sells Dolly Madison Pink Frosted Zingers should be preaching about using chemical weapons on people.

   time for those homeless people with will work for food signs to grab a shovel

   Facebook.. Where ugly people try to convince the world that they're cute..

   If you've got nothing nice to say let's sit far away from each other and yell obscenities across the room just to p!ss people off.