Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

   People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

   I absolutely HATE when people put song lyrics as their status! It makes me wanna SHOUT! Kick my heels back and SHOUT! Throw my arms up and SHOUT! Throw my head back and SHOUT!

   I bet most people supporting Hillary Clinton can't even SPELL "Marxist/Socialist" let alone even know what it means ... and why it is bad for America.

   Don't worry about Ebola spreading in Dallas. The Cowboys have shown us that people in Dallas can't catch anything.

   Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.

   I find it interesting that the same people that are telling me that Donald Trump would be a bad President are the same people who told us that Barack Obama would be a Good President!!!

   People say that love is in every corner I must be walking in circles!

   Earlier, I recieved a chain mail message that said that if I don't forward it to 50 people within 3 hours of reading it, a little dead girl will appear next to my bed at midnight. I haven't sent the message on to anyone. Looks like I'm getting laid tonigh

   Mandatory voting? Reminds me of saw a video I saw about a leader who forced people to do crazy stuff under his leadership. But it was hard to understand, the narration was in German.

   Why is the Arab world pissed about the video of Marines peeing on dead bodies? A lot of people enjoy getting peed on judging from the number of videos I found trying to find the video in question.

   If my girlfriend ever suggests we start seeing other people, I'll be doing someone else before she can find her car keys.

   Don't you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn't want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop

   planning on driving around to random churches Saturday night and leaving piles of clothes so that some people will believe they have been left behind on Sunday morning. You in?

   To all the people who failed out of high school, just remember two things: 1) At least you tried your best, and 2) I said NO tomatoes on my burger, b!tch!

   True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...

   What's this ♫♪ 'Crazy little thing called Love'? People say ♪♫ 'Love will keep us alive' but then ♪♫ 'Too much love will kill you'.... now 'I want to know what love is'. ♪♫

   I've seen enough episodes of "Cops" to know that you should avoid all people with blurry faces....

   You should never laugh at mentally challenged people,.. it's just not cooI, I have feelings too!

   my wife cooks more on Café World! then she does here at home at least the the virtual people are eating well