Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

   Why is in that in America they make the sick walk all the way to the back of the drugstore to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

   wishes mean people would go live on the planet Uranus.

   the people sitting around me should all be wearing helmets

   "God has a sense of humor. Don't believe me?... go to Walmart and just look at people."

   Hang in there poor people. Only 2 more years until Democrats pretend to care about you again.

   Cop:Sir have you been drinking? Guy:Why is there a fat chick in the back? Cop:Sir are you drunk...? Guy:Why? IS there 2 fat chicks in the back!?

   All these people sending prayers to OK. I feel so silly. I only sent money and donated blood.

   I really tend to have less tolerance of ugly people.

   I'll bet the people who voted for Joe Biden are turning over in their graves right now.

   wondering why so many people spend money they don't have to buy stuff they don't need to impress people they don't like !

   Please put this on your status if you know someone or are related to someone who suffers from stupidity. People need to understand that stupidity is real & should be taken seriously. You could be sitting next to a sufferer right now.

   Racism is for lazy people who don't take the time to learn enough about someone to dislike them for a much better reason.

   sick and tired of handicap people always getting pushed around

   Facebook is probably the most efficient way of telling as many people as possible that you're lonely. ツ

   Clinton called people deplorable, obama called them clingers, terrorists call them infidel, trump called them americans. And they dont understand why he won.

   I feel sorry for people who get to the end of their life and realize they had wasted it trying to do what somebody else wanted them to do. Be your Truth, not someone's lie.

   My Spiritual and religious friends, I'll never go to church with you. My fit and Healthy friends, I'll never go to the gym with you. My Drunk and high friends, when and where?

   I hate when people bring up a mistake you made a long time ago; negroe I was a different person two hours ago. -_-

   James Cameron's new movie "Avatar" comes out next week. People say it will be as successful as "Titanic". Not the movie. The ship.