Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Ignorance begets overconfidence and it is harmful when these people are in positions of authority.

   Don't say retarded, it offends retarded people and people that look for reasons to be offended.

   Instead of moaning about how much your life sucks try getting drunk like normal people

   I'm amazed at how some people have survived this far in life

   When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.

   if ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

   Why do we say sorry even when they bumped into us? It's way funnier when people say "Excuse You" anyways.

   The only people who complain about FB having to much drama...is the people who just got caught doing something they wasnt supposed to be doing

   At the grocery store tonight, I looked down into our basket and realized we live with old people. :(

   wonders if people in the porn industry are ever "In the mood"?

   You get in the biggest fights with the people you care about the most, because they are the relationships you're willing to fight for.

   99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 7%.

   When fat people spoon, is it called ladling?

   It's depressing how many people don't realize that a terrorist group is a group of people and not an entire nationality.

   When people yawn, do deaf people think they're screaming?

   Study shows 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. Not me, though. I live next door to 2 really hot middle school girls.

   Don't laugh in the bathroom because it will make people think that your playing with yourself..

   Happy birthday to Sir Mix-A-Lot! People forget how persecuted big butts were before he wrote that song.

   A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

   Why do people post that they are cleaning their home on Facebook? Everybody cleans their home so the fact that you are too is not special...What do you want, a cookie?