Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Some people call me insensitive, but that's not true. I have an emotion: I feel sorry for the millions of pathetic losers who walk around like sheep waiting to be shorn.

   some people decided to put their umbrellas up when it was raining intelligence

   People tell me that opportunity is just around the corner don't realize I'm walking in circles in this terrible job market.

   Funny how when a woman is drunk and walks in your door to have violent sex, it's all fun. But when I do the same thing, I'm being arrested?

   Taking relationship advice from people on Facebook is like asking a blind person for directions. If these people had perfect relationships, they wouldn’t even be on Facebook half the time.

   Some people are good listeners. Mostly, though, they're just nodding and thinking about pancakes.

   Those picky people on house hunters..should be shot at the end of the show..!

   I love people who gossip behind my back... that's just where they belong, behind ME!

   The fact that there are a lot people in this world that are significantly more successful than me based solely on their hunt for Bigfoot is really sad.

   I'm bored but not "correct people's grammar on Facebook" bored.

   People who are buying Bieber please stop it's just encouraging him

   Come on people now Smile on your brother Everybody get together Try to love one another Right now

   •Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

   Interesting Factoid: Tall people earn $789 per year per inch more than shorter people.

   People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road and the back of the church.

   So she "just wants to be friends." Cheer up! That's more than most people want to be with you.

   If fire escapes were replaced with waterslides people would use them a lot more.

   People like YOU, are the reason why people like ME, need MEDICATION

   Thankful for Mr. Austin Nichols...... you taught me that some people have faith, some have a strong will, but I have your Wild Turkey to get me through.

   There must be a lot of people who need glasses...so they can see things my way.