Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   WELCOME TO FACEBOOK - The place where people add you as a friend and walk past you in the street.....

   Just think... before Facebook all of this crazy s%*t was floating around in people's heads.

   "I wasn't that drunk!" Dude, you told my mom you're no weather man, but she can expect a couple inches tonight.

   It's silly when people say that you shouldn't like them "because they might hurt you." Everyone is going to hurt you. Some people are just worth the risk.

   Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work

   My mate said he sells drugs to fat people - I guess that sounds more macho than admitting he works at McDonald's.

   Hey people tin high-crime neighborhoods; How's that "Snitches get stitches" mantra working for you?

   People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.

   Someday scientists are going to discover the center of the universe and a lot of people will be disappointed to find out it isn't them.

   Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.

   Crazy people are never aware of their own insanity. I'm so glad I'm not a crazy person.

   People think I'm God... anywhere I go, they say "Oh God! You've come again..."

   Drunk people are the only honest ones left.

   The only thing some people can achieve on their own is dandruff.

   Dear Facebook, I am not interested to see who has been viewing my profile but I would be very much interested if you can develop a "Punch people who tag me in photos I am not even featured without my permission" Application.

   BREAKING: Internet Blackout Forces Millions to Interact with Other People

   The people doing it in pornos are in love, right?

   I think I'm a good judge of people...that's why I don't like none of 'em.

   Friends don't let friends decorate drunk!

   Sometimes I want to punch words right back into people's mouths.