Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."

   "I wasn't that drunk" "Dude, you picked up a little Mexícan girl and screamed, 'DORA! I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME!'" @____@

   Instead of telling everybody what color is your damn bra, put 2 bucks in the freaking can at the shopping center if you really want to help people with breast cancer, for Christ's sake!! Stop talking on facebook and give money!

   I hate when people write thing like "b4" instead of "before." It's English, not Bingo.

   on itunes below "Party in the USA" by Miley Cryus, it said "Listeners who bought this also enjoyed, 'Sounds of People Farting into a Mic."

   People should STOP complaining about Facebook's privacy settings. If you want some PRIVACY, you should go back to Myspace.

   Education should be free for all people willing to learn!

   I don’t understand why some people are SO obsessed about having friends…. Last time I checked caskets didn’t come with bunk beds…. f*ck em.

   People hate the truth. Luckily, the truth doesn't care.

   Pluto was rejected from the planet category because of its crooked orbit; even our solar system kicks the stumbling drunk guy out of the party."

   Today is the 25th birthday of the World Wide Web. What the hell did people do 26 years ago??

   Grandkids are basically puppies for old people.

   Note to self: stop buying stuff on Ebay when drunk. Anyone need a zamboni?

   Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in awhile,nine out of ten people would have nothing to talk about.

   Have you ever noticed that people who snore seem to always fall asleep first?

   3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the worlds population

   There are 3 things that drive me nuts in this world...People who think they know it all and people who can't count!!

   Jehovah's Witnesses should preach on Halloween night, people might actually answer the door.

   April Fools' Day is like a huge open mic night in which millions of people go out of their way to demonstrate how unfunny they are.

   If people hate you for no reason, give them one.