Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   The Rapture isn't going to happen as long as people keep trying to predict when it will happen. Stop guessing, live life like you know your supposed to and He'll get here when He gets here!

   Wow, some people will do anything for a "like" on Facebook. Anyways if you agree like my status.

   It amazes me how there are over 5 billion people in the world, yet a person can be so lonely at this time of night.

   It's funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.

   Every person has a story to tell, which is why I avoid talking to most people.

   Welcome to adulthood. You now try to tolerate people just enough to avoid needing to get the legal system involved.

   I'm starting to think that when people tell me "I can't believe you have a child!" they aren't referring to my youthful appearance.

   The people on Jerry Springer are also the people of Walmart

   Organized people are just too lazy to look for things

   There's two kind of people in this world: People that use "lol" or "haha"

   Attention all people who still have pics of their ex-lovers in their albums. Please get rid of that sh!t and move on. Thank you.

   You should see all the pissed Farmville people taking their Facebook frustration out on Twitter.

   Being with the wrong people is like wearing shoes that are too tight. It's so hard to fit in, and it hurts like hell in the end.

   Never realized how annoying some people can be. Then you opened my eyes.

   "If Donald Duck doesn't have to wear pants than neither do I!" Me getting drunk at Disney World.

   I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can moonwalk?

   To the people who upload full movies to YouTube: Get a life...also, thank you.

   Dear Taco Bell, Can you please include people drinking beer and getting high in your commercials. Sincerely, your core demographic.

   People in relationships are so lucky they don't have to worry about what they look like anymore.

   A real woman avoids drama like a plague, for she knows her efforts and time are too precious and to be wasted on little minded people and their tantrums... Unless of course that woman is an alcoholic sexual deviant, then 'real' no longer applies.