Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   : If Blind people wear Dark Glasses...why don't Deaf people wear Earmuffs?

   When people start a sentence with "Do you know what your problem is..." I interrupt and start telling them all my problems. They never expect that.

   Whats with people who reach facebook maximum friends limit and have to open another account to accommodate more new friends? Are you really that popular or you are just a slut?

   People should stop arguing about ps3 and. Xbox. We all know the best system is was and always will be the nintendo 64!

   look people It's spelled B-E-F-O-R-E, not B4... we speak English, not bingo

   I will never understand the physics behind british people losing their accents when they sing.

   I am finding all the RIP's for a drug addicted Amy Winehouse and none for the 95 innocent people killed in the massacre that happened in Norway rather ironic....... RIP for those who died innocently!!

   thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk... just like in cartoons.

   I don’t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He’s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here.

   It's a shame that all the people who know how to run the country are all busy driving taxi's and cutting hair!

   wearing his ninja shirt today. It has ninjas all over it, but most people just think it's a blank shirt.

   If you have never shot bottle rockets from a beer bottle at your drunk friends on the 4th of July then you are not enjoying your freedom to the fullest.

   I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...

   Suicide is only illegal because dead people can't pay taxes.

   People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs.

   The words "Haters" and "Swag" are overused by the people who have neither

   I bet the people that really died yesterday got up to Heaven and was like "WTF?? Where in the heII is everybody else"??

   Today is going so slowly my life is flashing before other people's eyes.

   The people in horror movies would live a lot longer if they listened to me in the audience.

   hopes that after I die, people will say of me: "Man... that guy sure owed me a lot of money."