Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   People love you if you can take them out of their comfort zone, comfortably.

   You know when you are about to say something, but that little voice of reason prevents you from it? Explain this to me, people like you fascinate me.

   I hate waiting until I'm dead. I want to haunt people now dammit.

   People who publicly announce they're "taking a break" from social media, are merely disgruntled that they have only 10 friends and even those 10 never comment.

   Wouldn't it be nice if you could adjust the brightness level of people like you can on your TV?

   Ironically, the people you meet by accident are often the ones who become an important part of your life

   Want people to leave you alone this fall? Tuck in your sweater.

   It is a truth universally acknowledged that if two people are at Home Depot one of them is pissed about it.

   Married people be like: [Quarantine, day 10] It’s been 89 days since I last had sex

   Bad Politicians are elected by Good People who DON'T VOTE!

   People always slam elevator music and that's very hurtful to those of us who have spent years learning to play the elevator.

   people can cry and cry all they want about who won and who didn't but when you have a 50% voter turnout you have only yourself to blame.

   Life is full of fake people. Before you decide to judge them, make sure you're not one of them

   I love pizza because it doesn't judge and tell me I'm doing it wrong when I eat it drunk.

   So I was deleting ugly people on my FB account and I nearly deleted my damn self.

   I hate people who take drugs. Customs agents, for example.

   You know your house is dirty when people wipe their feet when they are leaving.

   Sometimes I think sharks eat people just so they can be on tv.

   Most people wake up feeling like a million bucks, me? I wake up feeling like insufficient funds.

   If people would just give ugly people a chance and date them too, catfishing wouldn't be a thing.