Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6406 of 6453

It's a tie in the race for the world's biggest whackoffs between the Dum-o-Crat and GaryKoenig
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04-05-2025 19:53
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Ummm, "world's" not "world's. You forgot the second quotation mark. Nice attempt though.
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04-06-2025 08:12
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M^G^ losers are going to be so broke after these tariffs kick in they're gonna have to start renting the libs instead of owning them. Ya'll must be worried about those trailer park rents as well π€
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04-07-2025 16:53
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The clitoris has 1000 nerve endings. And it's still not as sensitive as the cuck here who apparently feels extremely threatened by Canada π
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04-08-2025 11:42
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The reason gas prices have fallen is not positive. Oil prices and Treasury yields fell because there are concerns about economic growth going forward. If a person knew the first thing about economics, they would understand this, moron.
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04-09-2025 08:50
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I stand with China. π¨π³ The US facked around and now they're gonna find out.
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04-09-2025 09:00
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Why do you people reply and engage in petty name calling with these anti Trumpers? You are in charge for at least the next 3 1/2 years. Enjoy it!!! Take joy in the fact that they wake up miserable every day. Donβt engage.
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04-09-2025 09:02
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"I'll take 2 electronics over easy with a side of home fries, bacon, and pancakes, please." China thanks you π¨π³
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04-09-2025 13:36
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There's no "might" about not liking Koenig's posts. They're played, sophomoric, and not funny. Not as bad as the one's on page 1 though. They simply $u<k.
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04-11-2025 13:30
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"Go away kid ya bother me"
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04-11-2025 16:03
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Take a moment and collect your thoughts. You almost have a full set.
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04-11-2025 17:43
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Way more fun being in my 20s in the 70s than in my 70s in the 20s
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04-18-2025 05:19
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A guy said to me, "Hey, buddy. You got 10 dollars for a sandwich?" I told him, "Let me see the sandwich"
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04-18-2025 22:37
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What's aciaemA?
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04-25-2025 12:16
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My parents never actually listened to me as a kid. I recall a solar eclipse one year. "Hey ma, can I go outside and watch the eclipse?" "Yeah, but don't get too close."

Getting married is like going to the restaurant. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that...
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01-06-2024 14:44 by Gabe
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Avoid office small talk by maintaining that facial expression between first sneeze and second sneeze.
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01-06-2023 04:31
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If you haven't hit a woman, then you obviously haven't dated a woman who had to be hit !
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11-28-2021 21:31 by NoBuddy
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Divorce Log - 2007 I got out of the shower. My wife walked in and I said, "Excuse me, I'm not dressed." She goes, "No kidding. I didn't think you were carrying a wrinkly purse."
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04-16-2022 22:56
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Many M^GA women are extremley flexible. This is true. They have to be, considering most M^G^ guys have trouble gettting it up. So she needs to do be able to do handstands against the wall so they can at least drop it in.
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04-04-2025 20:53
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