Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   क्या कोई मुझे अजीब स्थिति संदेश वेबसाइट पर निर्देशित कर सकता है?

   The biggest mistake people make in a relationship is giving their heart to someone who needs a brain.

   Remember when we used to do prank calls growing up? Now those spam calls are karma getting us back.

   Podría alguien dirigirme a un sitio web divertido de mensajes de estado?

   foods contain ingredients such as iron, potassium, calcium, etc so I'm going to start calling my dinner table my "table of elements"

   It's ironic that the two O's in 'cooperate' insisted on having their own separate sounds.

   What do I like most about my job? Payday, breaks and leaving.

   The weakest, dumbest, most pathetic coward to ever sit behind that desk. He's a joke. And I piss on him.

   Give a 👎 if you're ok with Tr*mp and El*n r*ping more women.

   JD Vance flew to Greenland to the U.S. military base. He spent just 3 hours there. Then flew home with his tail between his legs, humiliated. All other plans to attend events in Greenland over 3 days were cancelled because there was no interest LOL!

   Today is the first day of Spring. That means I can be over with my Seasonal Depression and go back to my Regular Depression.

   My favourite part of Football is when they feed the players water like they’re Hamsters

   Welcome to your 60’s, you can no longer outrun Mall Security.

   I can't berieve the plice of Peking Duck!

   Companies need to stop making employees feel guilty for taking vacation days and time off just because they failed to hire a sufficient amount of people.

   "Who's taking you home on New Years?" State troopers, probably

   TikTok this. Good riddance.

   I just heard that a cold shower eases depression. I was fine with it... until I looked down.

   This year, he inherited one of the strongest economies in history with the lowest unemployment rate in 50 years, the inflation rate at 2%, and the stock market increased by 48%. And destroyed it in 30 days. GLORIOUS!

   I’d like to be the first to wish you all a very merry Christmas