Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Faffing: The excessive use of time for nonsense activities....Faffometer: A device or means for measuring the amount of time spent faffing around (as I am doing when writing this entry)

   Feeling sad is better than not feeling at all. unless you into your feelings....

   LOOK MA! NO CHASER!

   my science teacher said living things are made up of cells so why don't we call our lovers our "cell mates"?

   Am I crazy or a ...?!

   Lady GaGa had no idea what she was doing when she asked R. Kelly to "do what you want with my body"... Psssssssss

   Happy Halloween! Bring on the booze!!

   If a room is spinning, it doesn't mean the world revolves around you... you may have just had too much to drink....

   I'm thinking about having children. Does anyone have a good recipe?

   She said she wanted to talk so I let Jesus take the wheel and jump into traffic.

   Safe word? It's more likely that you will need a white flag

   I hope you enjoyed our orgy; please come again.

   keep the conversation on my post going,but be sure I'll be deleting it when ts on the climax

   Son why did you draw a dinosaur with a machine gun? First off, they can't shoot guns. And secondly, This rules,,, I'm calling the museum

   When you're dead, it's really, really, easy for you.....I mean you don't know,,,,it's just hard on others...same thing when you're stupid....

   I miss being the age when I thought I would have my shyt together by the time I was the age I am now!

   The main motives of stalks and serial killers are Visionary, Mission-oriented, Lust, Thrill, Comfort (profit), Power, and Media.

   Hey Kanye, We might get another Kim Kardashian after Oscar Pistorius's trial.

   Ladies, if your man compliments you on your new hairdo. You've a girlfriend.

   And reason number one Why you should not put your daughter in basketball..... someone in the basketball world will refer to her as a great ball handler and then the fight begins.