Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   After all the complaints, Facebook finally decided to make a "dislike" button. April fools. We're still stuck with only the "like" button.

   Life is too short so don't dance with fat girls

   Taco Bell is the only place where you can still get gas for $1.39.

   I'm pissed...I signed up on Facebook almost a year ago and have not received a single phone call.

   This is an "A" and "B" conversation, so "C" your way out before "D" jumps over "E" and "F"s you up like a "G".

   The Beatles suck!

   Love has 4 letters, but so does Hate ; Friends has 7 letter, but so does Enemies; Truth has 5 letters, but so does Lying

   was denied adoption of a baby boy from Malawi =(

   I'll be baby sitting this Valentine's Day $150 per kid. (inbox me)

   My wife asked me with loving eyes, "What did I do to deserve you?" I responded, "I'm guessing something horrible in a past life!"

   We had joy we had fun, specially in your mother's cun....

   The only thing that can stop the Coronavirus is a good guy with a gun.

   A big part of adulthood is waking up every morning wondering if you have caught a cold or is this just the new normal?

   Teenagers hanging out sober act like adults drunk.

   Humans invented peanut butter and chocolate, but God put them together

   I heard that a guy fell out fo the 13th story window of a building and he died! Spooky...

   you wouldnt know where your heading until your know where you have being !

   You know who the luckiest person in the world is, a person who doesnt need no luck

   Happy Friendship Day to All !! :)

   Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds? A.  The bonds mature.