Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Papacy - humans praying to another human.

   Lost in all this marriage debate are the Tranny's. Who can they marry, either sex or neither sex??

   funny, I see anyone wearing those "LiveStrong" wristbands anymore...

   How do you choke someone without killing them? Asking for a friend.

   If You Can't Be With The One You Love... Slap The One You're With!

   I have a great name for a dating site which pretty much sums the whole thing up in a nutshell...Desperate Losers.

   To err is divine. To blame it on someone else shows presidential potential.

   Where the heck is that "Polka" button Facebook that everyone keeps talking about?! I have my accordian and am ready to boogie.

   Value has a value ONLY if its value is valued . . .

   If you cant beat them, put a few drops of Visine in their coffee.

   No word in the English language rhymes with month.

   Almost casted for "The Biggest Loser", when I found out it wasn't the lose weight show, totally got pissed..

   Mmmm, plumpkins..

   Be yourself beautiful, and you will find the world full of beauty

   I'm sorry Baby, that's gravity. I can't help it that I'm physically attracted to you

   you can get whatever you want in this life if you have self confidence,determination...and an AK-47 wz unlimited ammo..

   I wonder if the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks by claiming all his appendages were "elephant-sized".....

   if a fly didn't have wings, would it be called "walk" ?

   thinks that the Waltons take way too long to say good night!

   I really think that one whom sratches his or her own ass, should not bite their Fingernails