Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I was gonna cook alligator for dinner, but my stove is broken and all I have is a croc pot.
←Rate | 08-21-2021 15:36 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon What they need in Afghanistan is Larry the Kabul Guy. He'd git 'er done.
←Rate | 08-16-2021 11:56 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm incredulous over the fact that changing the name and picture on a pancake box has yet to result in racial unity.
←Rate | 07-30-2021 05:42 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I gotta wait a half hour after eating before getting in the pool, let’s face it, I’m never getting in the pool.
←Rate | 07-24-2021 20:33 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wisdom: A friend of mine had two small kidney stones. He didn't want surgery so he went to the bathroom and "wisdom" out.
←Rate | 07-18-2021 10:36 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've made some terrible life choices over the years. Just kidding. I'm married and not allowed to make decisions.
←Rate | 07-11-2021 09:50 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Math Rock is a term meant to describe music that is complex in rhythmic structure. But in reality, all rock is Math Rock. Some is Calculus, some is Algebra, some is Arithmetic and some is Pre-K Introduction to Numbers.
←Rate | 06-28-2021 06:10 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've had just about enough of the "avocado this", "avocado that" stuff. Somebody please get me a calzone with sausage and pepperoni. 😛
←Rate | 06-11-2021 09:39 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The sum of the carrots are inversely proportional to the squared exponent of the cabbage divided by the vinegar and multiplied by the mayonnaise." ~Cole's Law
←Rate | 05-20-2021 20:48 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The price of great success is the greater fear of losing it all in the end.
←Rate | 05-16-2021 14:06 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Protestants. Some man didn't like God's version of Christianity (Catholicism), so they decided to fix what God got wrong.
←Rate | 05-01-2021 12:04 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm donating my body to science... fiction.
←Rate | 04-30-2021 21:15 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to the book store and asked for some new book I had heard about on improving one's sex life. The clerk said, "I'm not sure it's in yet." I go, "Yes, that's the one!"
←Rate | 04-19-2021 19:14 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon You used to be able to somewhat cross the line. Nowadays, you can't come anywhere near the line. You used to be able to somewhat push the envelope. Nowadays you'd better pull back the envelope.
←Rate | 04-04-2021 16:12 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anne, I had to quit my profession as a gynecologist. I got tunnel vision.
←Rate | 03-26-2021 11:49 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is said that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." What about the other eye?
←Rate | 03-26-2021 10:56 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone's up in arms over Pepe LePew romancing a cat. Newsflash: Most men are skunks and we romance pu$$y. Same difference. And I can promise you that trait isn't learned from a cartoon.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 16:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The subject of entomology really bugs me.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 12:38 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Daylight Saving Time. Where we lose an hour of eating.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 08:56 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bike Week is here at Daytona Beach. It's noisy and crazy! Speaking of noisy and crazy, next week is Tyke Week. It's a bunch of 5 year olds on Big Wheels driving on A1A hounding their moms for grilled cheese and putt putt golf.
←Rate | 03-11-2021 15:52 by Fazzy Comments (0)  



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