Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   It's funny how fast you can wake up when you realize you've overslept.

   so why is that every holiday we stuff ourselves full of ham or turkey or whatever? like we really need an occasion to indulge our inner fat kid??

   If you see me in ur dream...do tell me how to get out of there...;)

   What happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas. It ends up on Facebook.

   In this world there is plenty of Room for all of gods creatures.....Right next to the Mashed Potatoes and Gravy!!!

   Dear Auntie Em, "I Hate you and I hate Kansas, I'm leaving and I'm taking the dog.... Love Dorothy.

   Today In the Facebook Stock Market, 'Happy Easter' status updates are up 200%, 'Stupid Group Invitations' are up 50%, 'Friendship Bonding' plummets and 'Exaggerations' are down 3.40 pts on the Nasdaq.

   some woman want their man to be smart, dead drop gorgeouse, with colourful personality, who can listen to them, who'loves shopping n chick movies. Well ladies I hate to tell you but man like those<<< called GAY. Appriciate a guy for who he is.

   making home made dynamite is so much fun

   yeah I called her up,she thinks I don't listen to her,or something,I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

   Just letting my mind wander since it won't stop and ask for directions.

   Heard on the news, while hunting for Easter eggs the kids found a body, can you imagine nexy year when mom says come on lets see what the Easter Bunny brought you. I Picture kids screaming and crying, hell I would peobaly never celebrate Easter agian.

   Ok Who Else Hates How Celebs become More Famous After death Example Chris Kanyon Gurrreo Britney murphey And MJ

   going to the Playboy mansion looking for the Easter Bunny!

   's going on vacation and coming back on probation.

   Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, All fear is gone. I don't know about the rest of you, but I think that's pretty AWESOME!

   OCD's Anonymous meeting at my place. Anyone who feels compelled to clean up, go for it.

   puts the lotion in the basket or else it gets the hose again.

   Easter Bunny to her baby chic: "A magician pulled you out of a hat. Now stop asking questions!"

   doesn't want to work. He wants to bang on da drum all day.