Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon so I was at a bar and saw a really hot girl, I decided to play it cute and went up to her with a corny pick up line. "If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put you and I together." She looked at me disgusted and said, "Let's leave it the way it is wit
←Rate | 06-22-2010 10:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ust heard that half the French football team wants to throw up their hands in defeat and give up on World Cup while the other half of the team wants to join the Germans.
←Rate | 06-22-2010 09:48 Comments (1)  


   messageicon hates it when he goes to a Vuvuzela concert and people start playing football...
←Rate | 06-22-2010 08:16 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Speed bumps should be called slow-down bumps. (I tells it like I see it.)
←Rate | 06-22-2010 07:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not perfect, but I'm better than your ex and gonna be better than your next.
←Rate | 06-22-2010 05:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.
←Rate | 06-22-2010 05:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a bottle of Jack Daniels as a backup plan.
←Rate | 06-22-2010 05:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Quitting Facebook is the new, adult version of running away from home. We all know you're doing it for attention and we all know that you'll be back.
←Rate | 06-22-2010 05:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When people start a sentence with "Do you know what your problem is..." I interrupt and start telling them all my problems. They never expect that.
←Rate | 06-22-2010 05:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a sign at the hospital that said "Family Planning.... Use Rear Entrance". I thought it was good advice.
←Rate | 06-22-2010 04:45 by RoN Comments (0)  


   messageicon needs a Facebook button that says "What you just posted makes me want to stab you."
←Rate | 06-22-2010 04:43 by RoN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to have a voice just like Justin Beiber, then I turned four.
←Rate | 06-22-2010 04:42 by RoN Comments (0)  


   messageicon the nashnul spelling bee champion
←Rate | 06-22-2010 04:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it me or is Tosh.0 the greatest freaking show since Flavor of Love???...
←Rate | 06-22-2010 03:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just wants to make it clear...white men leave their kids too...
←Rate | 06-22-2010 03:39 Comments (2)  


   messageicon written what you are reading
←Rate | 06-22-2010 01:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon don't it look more Spacious in here without the rug?
←Rate | 06-22-2010 00:06 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Im not saying all IPhone users are douchbags. I am simply saying all douchbags are IPhone users =)
←Rate | 06-21-2010 23:45 by stellar m Comments (3)  


   messageicon Women should come with Miranda Rights....because if you say the wrong thing, it will come back to haunt you!
←Rate | 06-21-2010 23:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon getting into shape; and the shape I have chosen is 'Circle'...all done. And I thought this getting into shape thing was going to be hard.
←Rate | 06-21-2010 22:23 Comments (0)  




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