Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   havin octopus for dinner tonight :)

   We're not old people we're recycled teenagers!!!!!

   The angle of the dangle is inversely proportional to the heat of the meat.

   Sky-diving: good til the last drop.

   POVERTY: Having too much month left at the end of the money.

   Schizophrenia beats being alone.

   Blow your mind -- smoke gunpowder.

   Obviously the only rational solution to your problem is suicide.

   If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

   The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.

   I think I drink too much... my liver is so shriveled, black and dead, if you put your ear up to it you can hear Gary Coleman.

   i don't always drink beer but when I do I prefer to get wasted

   Quick!! Someone make a status update about tomorrow being Monday and how you're already counting down the days until the weekend is here...

   Welcome to my world:-)...Oh yeah, I forgot..your not in it..:-/

   I miss ___________. I rather not mention you b/c your not worth mentioning :-)

   Status Unavailable. Please Try Again Later.

   Last night I had an epifanny....I realized I couldn't spell.

   Tried to order at McDonald's today, couldn't understand her. So I started poking her forehead with my finger, I was trying to push 1 for English.

   smoking probable cause :D

   If myspace and Twitter were suddenly gone, would anyone really care?