goodeolboy Funny Status Messages
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Page: 5 of 13
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Going half way across the state this morning, and you know what that means...this truck is now a rolling karaoke machine.
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Try and find me now Sucka!- bread tie
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Ever find out your wiper wash is empty AFTER you have smeared bug guts all over your windshield?
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As a Truck Driver, let me say after several days of mid 90 degree temps, beaver season is in full swing.
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Hiding in the restroom at work, just to post this (;
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Shout out to all the people on my friends list who have hidden me from their wall, and are unable to see this post.
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Damn Guess it's time to get out of the tub, my phones almost dead.
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****PILOT****
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The correct measurement of toilette paper is from the dispenser to the floor for two-ply, and dispenser to the floor with a half turn for single.
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When you accidentally like a stranger's picture as you scroll on your smart phone.#stalkerfail
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I'm currently killing a twelve pack, and every squirrel within fifty yards of my porch. Love me some Saturdays.
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Today is the day in some households, that colored eggs get dumped in the trash. Because enough is enough.
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The workin man blues, is being wide awake before 5am on your day off.
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Tweakers tend to use Five Hour Energy's dirty cousin, Five Inch Line Energy.
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Safe sex back in my day was not getting caught.
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Dear Mr. Coffee, Do you even manufacture a coffee pot that doesn't spill when you pour out of it? -Early Riser
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If you didn't make one corner of an old metal swing set pop up in the backyard, you sucked growing up!
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To the Athiests that use the Lord's name in vein, make up your mind. Do you believe or not?
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Setting up eggs on the fence and letting the kids shoot at 'em with paintball guns. That's how we do it in the country!
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Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?
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