Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Well on the plus side, there will be free birth control so they won't reproduce!!

   Your p0sts make me wish I couldn't read.

   50% of Students get a job after college? Oh wait if you voted for Obama you didn't go to college....my bad

   I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think…is there nothing on the internet that I won't masturbate to?

   Give Mitt Romney some time. He's having a hard time admitting that there's something that he can't buy.

   We need to build some hydroelectric dams and harness all these tears from Republicans. Every crisis solved.

   This is the best time to invest in the food stamps market.

   BREAKING NEWS: Biden rushed to the hospital after collapsing of a laught attack to the news of Obama win!

   Im relocating to Colorado, I just heard the news; Colorado is now a weed state. I can smoke while voting next time around!

   BREAKING NEWS: The Last person just finished voting in Florida....

   Obama...Winner winner chicken dinner...(what to soon?)

   Watching the Election was like watching the Super Bowl but without the possibility of Janet Jackson having a wardrobe malfunction.

   Yes Yes Big Bird is saved!

   I should go to bed now since I am have no food stamps and need to be at work at 6 am

   Obama should start his speech off with... "allow me to reintroduce myself"

   Somewhere in Alaska, Sarah Palin is crying into her bucket of Chick-Fil-A.

   ..... Now America will find out just how affordable the Affordable "Free" Healthcare really is! ....... BTW ... there is a price that will be paid for it!.... And it is not free.

   So I guess its true: once you go black...........

   I think we need someone to run next term who will campaign on getting rid of the electoral vote and let the people decide who is to be our president.

   FOUR MORE BEERS!!! FOUR MORE BEERS!!! oops I mean, FOUR MORE YEARS!!! FOUR MORE YEARS!!!