Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Personally,,,,,, I'm giving up my belly button and the space between my toes..... For lint

   Arkansas just passed a law allowing people to caring guns in church. If you need a gun in church, I don't even want to hear what you believe in for a God.

   Be the sun that burns everyday and still rises everyday to give light to others.

   Arkansas just passed a law allowing guns in church. Now I have to come up with another excuse...

   be careful what you buy on Craigslist. I just bought front row seats to the Dookie Brothers concert...

   Benedict XVI won't even be able to flog his hat on ebay. He's closed his papal account....

   I have abad feeling we're going to pay for Taylor Swift's poor Grammy results...

   Benedict XVI won't even be able to sell his hat on eBay. He's closed his papal account...

   If you can't handle me at my un-shaved, you don't deserve me at my waxed.

   All the people with barbwire tattoos should join together and form a border wall between US and Mexico

   The couple that laughs together, stays together. If that's not a pro-weed slogan then nothing is.

   If you cant afford a kid, then shut your legs.

   So is Taylor Swift's perfume made from her actual tears?

   Every woman is beautiful, but some are only beautiful in the dark.

   To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.

   just heard the ad for the McDonalds New Fish Mcbites, I can only imagine them tasting like used Ben Wah balls.

   the Pope just changed his relationship status to It's Complicated...

   So, the Pope is resigning, eh? Perhaps I shouldn't have poked him so many times....but, in fairness - HE started that poke war to begin with.

   Big Shout-out !!!,,, to Whitney Houston as she celebrates one year of sobriety today

   If pigs could fly, I'd eat the s hit out of those wings!!