Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Why waste money on a shrink when I can just watch the dog whisperer and get cured for free.

   MTV better start playing something else other than the VMAs, because if I have to see miley twerking one more time, I'm going to volunteer as tribute for the next hunger games

   It's ironic.... but wouldn't you love to be......."Booby Trapped"

   Kyle Busch's face looks like he is trying to hold in a poop.

   Sad to read that the creator of classic party game Twister has died. Top bloke and will always be remembered for giving me the chance to see my auntie's crack.

   So, if Miley Cyrus and the Beebs had a baby it would make honey boo boo look like the royal baby! .. and she could hump its Teddy Bears !

   Joan Rivers doesnt look a day over $225,000

   Next years VMA's: someone will actually get pregnant on live TV

   Miley Miley Miley ..... I think you and that referee last night broke your daddy's achy breaky heart .... I just don't think he'd understand ..... Wheeeee hooooooo !

   I'm glad MTV has shows like Teen Mom 3 so girls have good role models besides Miley.

   Lamar Odom has been missing for 3 days. Guess he couldn't keep up with the Kardashians.

   Christina aguilera, Miley Cyrus, Annette Funicello is rolling over in her grave....

   If she uses her panties as ankle warmers does that make her eco-friendly or just a $lut?

   Why did the rooster cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off?

   I want to be a Disney princess, but not Snow White because I don't want dwarfs touching me while I sleep.

   Did Miley Cyrus have a stroke or was she doing that with her tongue on purpose

   Disney has turned into America's Next Top Slut competition. Call in Britney to host with Christina and Lindsay for judges.

   If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?

   i will never buy a foam finger again !

   After seeing Miley Cyrus' raunchy VMA performance last night, I don't feel so bad about perving on her leaked p0rn0.