Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   This Pokemon Go app is getting way too serious ..... My doctor said he found a Pokemon in my Chest X-Ray

   QUESTION: "What to you have when you finally find ALL of the Pokemon?" ... ANSWER: "Nothing .... you have nothing."

   ... it's so damn HOT out there I'm not even going out to look for Pokemon.

   ....... Hey Barack and Hillary .... Denial ain't just a river in Egypt!!!!

   It's so damn hot I think I'll go put the toilet seat up on purpose so I can get a cold Icy stare from my girlfriend

   It's a sad day when a 4 year old girl is more calm and collected than a police officer.

   some dude playing Pokémon go came inside my house to catch a Pokémon and stole my TV

   Im in the restroom using the urinals and someone walked next to me to catch a Pokemon!

   Protests to stop police from killing their race but then you kill each other for a pair of Jordans....smh

   Wow, that's a nice looking pair of crocs!" - Said by no one...

   "But apart from that , How did you enjoy the play Mrs. Lincoln"

   I woke up this morning and there was a big Pokemon next to me and I don't even have the app!

   He had no known links to t errorist organisations? Just being a m ulslim is a known link to t errorism.

   I don't care what any politician says ..... This country and this world are definitely not better places than it was 8 years ago! If they say otherwise they are liars and should not be trusted.

   I ordered 2 pizzas from Dominoes. The order taker was not amused when I asked her for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Total.

   Divorce: The end of an error.....

   1/3 of the world is going crazy killing each other tonight, 1/3 of the nerds are looking for pokemon, 1/3 of women are rubbing their poor children in essential oils and I'm just laying on the couch wondering how I ran out of Oreos.

   If we had a terror attack like Nice, our president would be on the news telling us we need common sense laws to keep cars out of the hands of terrorists.

   Stop it with this political BS. I haven't stolen and posted a descent item in months

   If it were garbage pail kids I would totally be on board.