Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Melania Trump just reported a suspicious small package in her bedroom.

   They say 50% of #status updates are written while sitting on the #toilet That's why I don't buy used mobile #phones .

   OK 2016 there are still a few days left ... so I nominate Hillary and the Kardashians just to ballance things out ...

   Why in the hell is 2016 letting Kanye West live?

   I gave Santa Chocolate Laxative chip cookies...

   OK... I think it's time for 2016 to die before any more good people do....

   Why is it friggen up if you put in a twitter neam

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take JCGJ too..

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Hillary too..

   Carrie Fisher said Trump would never be her president and damned if she wasn't right!

   If you can't handle me at my drunk,...join the crowd.

   I wish I loved anything as much as Santa loves rich kids.

   Carrie Fisher was found unconscious by a relative,who tried to revive her with chest compressions. Unfortunately, the force wasn't strong enough.

   Sierra, Echo, November, Delta. November, Uniform, Delta, Echo, Sierra

   Apparently there are some "Careless Whispers" about how George Michaels passed away. .... Still too soon?

   I heard George's friends tried to wake him up before they had to GoGo, but apparent he was suffering from a fatal case of the Jitterbug. ... too soon?

   So 2016 Took a Prince and a Princess...Damn

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Kanye too!

   The man who discovered copper died penniless

   When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.