Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   making friends and influencing people

   joining the army. He hears it's a great way to meet people. Then kill them.

   "not drunk, hes just exhausted from being up all night drinking"

   swearing to drunk that he is not god...

   pondering why in the hell people type so much in their status box

   wondering why people think they are invisible when they pick their noses in the car?

   "likes it when people call him ""kitten"" "

   as much authority as the Pope, he just doesn't have as many people who believe it

   considers obese people to be dyslexic anorexic

   does not take fashion advice from people who wear crocs

   wishing people would stop sending me crap! I have enough stuff to do

   wondering why retarded people are blissful

   wonders if the people who spend £2 each on those Evian bottles know that backwards it spells Naive..

   Some People are like slinkies,, not good for anything, but fun to watch tunmble down stairs(:

   starting group meetings at my house for people with OCD, & if anyone feels the urge to tidy up, by all means go ahead

   When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

   Sometimes I go down to the Home Depot and pick up day laborers in my truck just to have people to drink with. Hop in, amigos. It's Miller time.

   people are really clever on facebook they always now what day it is and they always want to tell you its friday

   People say that love is in every corner I must be walking in circles!

   wonders if people who use sign language are allowed to talk with their mouth full....