Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Will someone please tell Kamala that she doesn't have to sleep with her boss to get a promotion this time ?

   Women say they want security. At least that's what the scream when I come near them.

   Finding out there's no Q is just as devastating as a child finding out Santa isn't real.

   I just paid for a 12 month gym membership. My bank called to see if my credit card was stolen.

   Dear AT&T, I'm not interested but appreciate you wanting to save me money. And if you'd like to save money stop mailing me letters!

   Amazing how much technology has advanced with new ways for people to communicate with each other 50 years ago they used to call talking.

   Why don't food companies put beets in boxes instead of cans? ...then the employees can say they're "professional beet boxers"

   if "octo" means 8, why is October the 10th month?

   Whoever said "Rome wasn't built in a day" needed to log out of Facebook.

   Whoever said "Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today" knew how to log out of facebook.

   I precisely had to appreciate you once again. I am not sure what I could possibly have gone through in the absence of those tricks shared by you on such question. It has been a real troublesome matter for me, but looking at a new well-written strategy you

   Truth does not mind being questioned. A lie does not like being challenged

   The Biden crowd has Helen Keller Syndrome. Facts fall on dear ears, blind eyes, and dumb reasoning.

   The Biden crowd has Helen Keller Syndrome. Facts fall on deaf ears, dumb reasoning and blind eyes.

   Dear Advertisers – white heterosexuals still use fabric softener, buy insurance and walk their dogs.

   Ever pick a booger so big that you get it out and suddenly it’s like you’re on top of a mountain, inhaling the world’s largest and most refreshing breath of air that ever was breathed?

   The main difference between a Nudist and a Streaker is the type of blur your local TV News channel uses of the incident.

   I should have been a geologist. Everyday, I manage to hit a new rock bottom.

   The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence. Is this true? I have my doubts.

   I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.