mike Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Last year for Christmas I got a sweater...this year I am hoping for a moaner or screamer.
←Rate | 12-12-2020 18:31 by mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was just kicked out of a restaurant because of my pants. Wasn't wearing any.
←Rate | 06-25-2018 17:09 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’m going to start a band called “Free Beer” because when people see a sign that says, “Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM” everyone is going to be there.
←Rate | 02-01-2018 14:30 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do I have to hear about these Clowns for 28 more days? O me bad make that 35 more days my math is not so good anymore.
←Rate | 10-03-2016 17:41 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder if Uranus is getting tired of being the butt of everyone's jokes?
←Rate | 05-18-2016 08:07 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you order your coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is "Merry Christmas"
←Rate | 11-10-2015 17:33 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon Moving into the White house would be living in poverty for Trump...he'd be slumming it.
←Rate | 07-26-2015 09:19 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hope the MVP has his shots up to date. Disneyland is dangerous nowadays!
←Rate | 02-02-2015 05:43 by mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't believe Skelator sold out and is now doing commercials. Oh well, he's still a better pitchman than Michael Bolton.
←Rate | 11-30-2014 20:44 by Mike Comments (1)  

   messageicon I put an "EBOLA QUARANTINE" sticker on my front door and now we don't have problems with salesmen, thieves, or neighbors.
←Rate | 10-27-2014 20:58 by Mike Comments (0)  


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