Mickey Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Cruises: Like being on house arrest with midnight buffets.
←Rate | 09-26-2021 16:06 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Now that summer's over, I'd like to suggest to the ladies (and guys from Canada) that next year, unless you have a rear end made of perfectly sculpted stone, don't wear a thong.
←Rate | 09-24-2021 11:52 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon COVID is going to be an excuse for horrible restaurant service for years to come.
←Rate | 09-24-2021 09:48 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
←Rate | 07-21-2017 10:53 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have as much interest in golf as I have in golf.
←Rate | 03-01-2017 19:35 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon The sign at the florist's said, "Say It With Flowers." I go in and ordered one rose. The guy asks me if I'm cheap. I go, "No, I'm a man of few words."
←Rate | 02-18-2017 14:31 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wanna meet me at Taco Bell? The Day Without Illegal Migrants means we'll get plenty of sauce packets and napkins.
←Rate | 02-17-2017 12:21 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I've learned anything from social media, it's that we live on a planet that's disproportionately filled with inhabitants in possession of single digit IQ's.
←Rate | 02-16-2017 08:04 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can't walk for a month.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 14:37 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I tried killing a spider with a can of cheap hairspray. Now it smokes two packs a day, joined a bowling league, wears blue eye shadow and calls itself Brenda.
←Rate | 02-08-2017 20:14 by Mickey Comments (0)  


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