Mick Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Poor Hillary can't get a break. She was at a Chinese restaurant, and when she cracked open the fortune cookie, a ballot with Trump's name was in it.
←Rate | 09-26-2017 21:37 by Mick Comments (0)  

   messageicon The people of Puerto Rico have unfortunately discovered just how much power mother nature has. Yet, there will be those arrogant humans who'll continue to think that we're solely responsible for climate change.
←Rate | 09-24-2017 10:59 by Mick Comments (3)  

   messageicon My uncle is the town drunk. Unfortunately, the town is Chicago.
←Rate | 07-30-2017 13:45 by Mick Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pizza Guy: "Louie's Pizza. May I take your order? Me: "Is the owl there?" Pizza Guy: "Who, who?" Me: "Lol, that never gets old. Gimme a large all the way."
←Rate | 07-06-2017 15:35 by Mick Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'll never understand when someone says that they hate to drink water. To me, that's like saying you hate breathing. "Hey, uh, would you happen to have something to breathe other than air?"
←Rate | 05-29-2017 17:09 by Mick Comments (0)  

   messageicon The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider doing it.
←Rate | 05-18-2017 11:34 by Mick Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girlfriend: Mick, I'm miserable in our relationship. Me: FOR REAL? Girlfriend: Yes. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I've lost 10 lbs. Me: So you're saying it's over? Girlfriend: Well, not yet. I wanna lose 15.
←Rate | 05-15-2017 09:18 by Mick Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have to go shopping. I got run over by a steam roller yesterday and need to get me a pair of size 200 x 14 pants.
←Rate | 05-13-2017 12:12 by Mick Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pineapple on pizza is as appealing as pepperoni on pineapple upside-down cake.
←Rate | 05-07-2017 14:59 by Mick Comments (0)  

   messageicon Fyre Festival Attendee: "I'll have a cheese sandwich." Fyre Festival Host: "Here you go, that'll be $1200.00." FF Attendee: "Hey, still cheaper than a sandwich at the airport."
←Rate | 04-29-2017 12:47 by Mick Comments (0)  


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